Adoption has been on my heart full time for the last three years. I knew it was a seed planted by God because there was nothing inside of me that longed to adopt a child. As a girl, I never dreamed about how many kids I would have. The only thing I knew I wanted was to meet "Prince Charming." Well, God answered that dream by giving me Brad - cheesy, right? I know, but it is true. I thought all my dreams would come true if I could only have "Mr. Right" in my life.
Through life's journey, I have learned that God is the only one who can meet all my needs, not Mr. Right. or anything else for that matter. If I don't seek Him, my life will not be filled with the joy that he has in store for me. I tend to overlook this fact, I get busy and put quiet time to the side. Sure, I pray and read the Bible, unfortunately, I get into the habit of doing it to "check the box". I don't take the time to apply his direction to my life. It does not take long for me to realize that something is missing, like I am just going thru the motions. So, I cry out to God for help, again. I admit that I can't do it without him and that I need him. He begins to speak to me and show me where my sin is. It is uncomfortable, but worth it. I read verses that tell me that if I love God, I will obey him. I begin to study the book of James. James 1:25 "The man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does." The "doing it" part is key here.
He reminds me that I am adopted into his family because of the work of his son - Jesus. He reminds me that he wants me to adopt. Wait, what?
I believe that God works thru the things and people around us. I started hearing about adoption on the radio and on tv. I was moved to see the millions of children who don't have a parent making sure they are safe, loved, fed, dressed, warm, etc. 3 years went by. More orphan stories came to my attention and God began prompting me to adopt. I immediately came back with many excuses, I mean reasons why we were not meant to adopt:
- We only have a two bedroom house
- We have debt
- There is no way we can afford adoption, have you seen how expensive it is?
- I am comfortable with one child and he is at an age where he can take care of himself
- I love my job and don't want to stop working - how do I manage another child with a great career?
- I would not even know where to start, or this is too hard
- What if I don't bond with the child?
- This is way out of my comfort zone. (I am a control freak)
The best "reason" we could not adopt was that Brad said, "No." I could not start this journey with out my husband on board. So, I decisively put the idea on the shelf.
When I came back to sitting at God's feet, he said, "Elisabeth, I did not give you a spirit of timidity, but of love and power." I was scared to bring up the topic with Brad. I should just wait for God to change his mind without my help. That was not what God had in mind. Through prayer and time in God's word, he helped me approach Brad again. I told him the adoption plans that God had placed on my heart. Brad was not interested. I told him that I needed him to pray about it. He reluctantly agreed.
This brings us back to our conversation at the dinner table. My response to being normal was , "Normal is not good enough." I am tired of just going thru the motions. I want to continue to look intently in God's word and apply it to my life. I have asked the difficult questions:
- Are you doing this because everyone else at church is doing it?
- Are you doing this because you recently lost a baby?
- Are you doing this because you only have one child and he is growing up so fast?
- Are you doing this to seek the approval of others?
- Are you doing this to fill the "gap" in your life?